snowflake challenge #3 💬❄️

Challenge #3

Write a love letter to fandom. It might be to fandom in general, to a particular fandom, favourite character, anything at all. 

the last few days have been... difficult. i wish i could have slept the last 96 hours, but it's too hot in here to even think of doing so. anyway, i'm better so i'm back to yap around here.

for the love letter, i'm going with identity v!
the funny is, i barely play play the game nowadays. it's been that way for what, three years now? and yet, i refuse to leave. i think i's because of the people. i've met the coolest mutals, my closest friends (including my bestie!), my favorite artists and writers, and overall amazing people thanks to this game. i genuinely don't know what my life would be like right now if i hadn't discovered the game five years ago.
the fandom isn't perfect (but is any fandom??), but i'm a firm believer of curating your experience and protecting your peace. i rarely interact with the main fandom, i prefer to stay in my own small circle, with people who understand me and i understand them.

and honestly? that small group is enough to make me love it. i couldn’t be more grateful.

i have some time left so...
LOVE LETTER TO LUCHINO DIRUSE 🧪🦎
because i have to take this chance to yap about this man.
if i said he is the best written character in the game, would i sound crazy? probably. but yeah, i'm crazy about him.

he's mad, but for his work. he's stubborn and greedy, but for answers. he's arrogant, because he knows he is a genius. 
what do you mean he completed his studies in half the time? what do you mean he doesn't doubt about injecting venom on himself?
and all of this is for the simple reason he craves knowledge. he would bankrupt the entire univesity, he would experiment on himself, he would endure the worst pain imaginable, ALL in the pursuit of knowledge.
the line "If you ask me, my only regret is probably being unable to name that creature myself" when he thought he was going to die soon was absolutely insane. he's unhinged, oh my god. i don't know how many times i've read and reread that line.
even through pain of his transformation, in the chaos of the events of the manor game, and eventually turning into evil reptilian, he never once regretted it. 

i wouldn't call evil reptilian his "other side", it's his true self. no longer tied down to social conventions, he can be much more meaner and arrogant. he's not cruel on purpose, he just doesn't care about keeping appearences anymore as he did as professor.
quotes like "Don't bother asking who I am. I'm a good person so long as I do you no harm","See these scales? They represent a beauty unattainable by mankind" or "Even if you do not wish my happy,only I know if I’m happy and only I can decide" really show that. 
yeah, i love everything that is wrong with him... i love luchino diruse <3

"currently" section

a week ago, i added a currently section on my journal i'll be constantly updating.
a brief explanation of what i've put there right now as i won't be making a post of every single one of these.

• writing: the fic for the hey, sweetheart event from ficwip! i've decided to make it about surveyor and emergency transport. those two would rip off their skin before calling the other sweetheart... and that makes them perfect for the prompt. for now, i've decided it starts with luchino mocking the old world's romantic love, calling pet names as a joke until it's not, hah!
• reading: comitted to my mission of improving my english, i headed to this british library in my city yesterday. i checked out have a nice night by james chase, red dragon by thomas harris (you know i had to as a cannibalism enthusiast) and the colour of magic by terry pratchett (my favorite author as a kid). i only have a week to finish all three... i'm positive i can do it, but just in case, i started with the one i haven't read before.
• watching: star trek is paused for now because now it's in hbo max and god knows it's extremely pricey here. if i can't find someone to borrow it from, i might look for it online.
• playing: after a year of hearing my friends talk about it, i got the opportunity to play limbus company last year. i received a lot of spoilers, but it hasn't stopped me from enjoying it. right now, my favorites are outis and sinclair.
• listening: burn pugmalion!!! now i'm finally working on themes i've always been interested into (obsession, paranoia, power imbalance, unhealthy relationships, etc) this album i used to love at 18 has kept me company and has given me a lot of inspiration. the last fic i posted literally has one of my favorites lines from it as a title "can you feel me gnawing away at your heart". (fun fact: liz described the album as an "ouroboros of paranoid ideas"... can it be more luchieli?)